Millennial Nuns

     

Every child is born with his own way of approaching the world. Learn how khổng lồ help your child cope with new people, new experiences, và change in ways that suit their temperament.


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There are many, many children who are shy or “slow khổng lồ warm up,” meaning they are uneasy or cautious in new situations or with unfamiliar people. As babies, they didn’t like being held by just anyone; they wanted to lớn be cuddled by only a few special, trusted people. As toddlers, they stay on the “sidelines” for a while, watching what others are doing until they feel comfortable enough to lớn join in. They may have a difficult time with changes lượt thích a new child care provider, & protest when a relative they don’t see often offers a big hug.

Consider Your Family

No two children or families are alike. Thinking about the following questions can help you adapt and apply the information and strategies below to the quality needs of your child and family.Bạn vẫn xem: Mai hardly ever her temper with her classmate dịch

How would you describe your temperament? What’s it lượt thích for you to lớn meet new people or deal with a new situation?

How are you similar khổng lồ or different from your child in this way? How vì these similarities or differences impact your relationship?

Temperament & Children Who Are Slow lớn Warm-Up

Every child is born with his own way of approaching the world, which we hotline “temperament.” A child’s approach lớn new situations and unfamiliar people is one very important temperament characteristic. The fact is that some children are naturally more comfortable in new situations và jump right in, whereas others are more cautious và need time and support from caring adults to feel safe in unfamiliar situations. At the same time, these children are often very careful observers who learn a lot from what they see, & who may be more inclined to lớn think through situations before they act—an important skill.

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Temperament is not something your child chooses, nor is it something that you created. There is not a “right” or “wrong” or “better” or “worse” temperament. But temperament is a very important factor in your child’s development because it shapes the way she experiences & reacts to lớn the world. A child who is cautious and a child who jumps right in are likely lớn have very different experiences going lớn your annual family reunion, for example, & will need different kinds of support from you.

Also, keep in mind that cultural expectations play a role in a child’s sociability as there are cultural differences around how “shyness” is valued. For example, in some cultures, shyness is seen as a positive attribute and is encouraged & expected. In others, being more assertive is more highly valued.

Coping with new people và experiences

Some children seem to lớn come out of the womb waving hello. Others are more hesitant around people they don’t know, beginning even as young babies. As they grow, these children often prefer to play with just one or two close friends, instead of a large group. Children who are slow to warm up often need time and support from trusted caregivers lớn feel comfortable interacting in new places or with new people.

Remember that a child’s behavior can vary in different situations. You may find your toddler is very quiet at a friend’s birthday buổi tiệc nhỏ but is chatty as can be with his grandparents, whom he knows well & adores. Children who are slow to warm up are often very happy playing by themselves or just hanging out with you. Although they may need less, or different, kinds of social interactions, these children are just as happy as their more outgoing peers.

Coping with change

Young children are known for being inflexible about their routines and are generally not crazy about change. However, some children seem lớn have an easier time with transitions, are more flexible, and can move from one activity to another more easily than others. Children who are slow to warm up often prefer things khổng lồ stay the same & are more resistant lớn trying something new, such as a new babysitter or even a new oto seat. It’s not uncommon to lớn hear lots of “No, No, No!s” in these situations. Cautious kids often need time and support before they are ready lớn make a transition. Routines are especially important và comforting. They help children feel in control of their world.

What to Expect from Birth khổng lồ Three

Birth lớn 18 Months

Beginning at about 8–9 months of age, almost all babies are coping with separation and stranger anxiety. These are important developmental stages that most babies go through và are not the same as shyness. However, it is important to lớn keep in mind that babies who are by nature more slow khổng lồ warm up, often experience difficulty with separations & may have a harder time being soothed.

Separations are a big issue at this stage because babies now:

Understand that they are their “own person,” separate from their parents.

Recognize the difference between familiar people và unfamiliar people.

Understand that people và things still exist even when out of their sight (object permanence). You see that your baby understands this concept when she looks for a toy that is hidden in a toy box, or for a ball that has rolled under the couch. Babies’ ability to lớn grasp this idea is why, at this time, they often begin protesting at bedtime, crying out when put khổng lồ sleep. They now know that you are still out there somewhere after saying good night, and naturally, want khổng lồ make you come back!

During this period, babies who previously had separated easily may start lớn cry và protest more at partings (such as drop-off at child care or bedtime) than they did before.

You can help reassure your baby by always saying good-bye. Give her a big hug and tell her she is in really good hands. With a smile, let her know that she will be just fine và you will see her later. Also, be sure your baby (over one year of age) has a “lovey” or special stuffed animal/blanket lớn cuddle while you are away. Although tempting, avoid sneaking out when you have khổng lồ leave your little one in someone else’s care. Sneaking out sends the message that you think you are doing something wrong by leaving her. This can increase any fearfulness she has about separations và being cared for by others.

Even at this young age, babies differ in their approach to social situations. Some seem eager to lớn interact with anyone they meet. They coo và babble khổng lồ the person behind you in the grocery line, và crawl or run up lớn another mom reading books to lớn her own children at the library. Other babies are more cautious around new people. They don’t seem to like being held or cuddled by people they don’t know well. They cling lớn you, or hide behind your leg, when meeting someone new. They are slow to lớn warm-up and need time lớn get adjusted to & feel comfortable with new people.

It’s important to lớn keep in mind that the goal is not lớn change your baby’s temperament. It is critical that he feel accepted and respected for who he is. You tư vấn your baby when you help his caregivers understand who he is và what he needs. Talk with them about your child’s temperament, how he likes lớn be soothed, what comforts him, và how he prefers lớn be held. This information is important because it helps your child’s caregivers provide the care he needs and deserves, and makes your child feel safe with & trust them.

18 to 36 Months

You may see your slow-to-warm-up toddler:

Need some time to get comfortable in a new setting, such as a friend’s house or new playground, before she settles in và starts to play.

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Rarely talk to lớn people he doesn’t know.

Prefer lớn play with you, or have you close while she plays with others.

Have a difficult time transitioning to lớn a new caregiver, such as a new babysitter.

Appear overwhelmed (cry, protest, want to leave, etc.) in busy, social settings lượt thích a mall, playground, or birthday parties.

Seem fearful at activities like parent–baby music or gymnastics classes.

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Toddlers who are slow khổng lồ warm up may also benefit from structured activities khổng lồ help them transition to lớn playing with others. For example, at the beginning of play time or a party, you may suggest making music (a wooden spoon and pot is perfect) or playing outside in a sandbox. This type of play gives children some time to engage in side-by-side play before getting into more interactive activities. It can also help lớn schedule playtimes & parties at your home when possible so that your child is somewhere she feels safe, secure, & confident.

Remember—temperament is not destiny. You can respect your child’s slow-to-warm-up nature while helping him learn the skills he needs lớn adjust to new situations và new people successfully. For example, when you arrive at a new playground where there are lots of children playing, follow your child’s lead and just watch the action for a while. Then, when you see your child feeling more relaxed và interested in what is going on around him, suggest that you push him in the swing or go down the slide with him. Ask him khổng lồ pick a piece of equipment to lớn explore next. Step by step, with time, you help your child adjust to lớn this new place—and enjoy himself.